Lessons learned from a serial monogamist (aged 16 – 48)

... in no particular order

1.       You only get to love with total abandon once, so make it worthwhile first time around.

2.       Just because a guy doesn’t laugh at you when you tell him you were a loser in gym class, doesn’t mean you have to marry him.

3.       Getting along well with a man while on vacation, doesn’t mean he’s the one for you.  You can have a really good time on a vacation with just about anybody.

4.       Just because you really enjoy spending time alone together doesn’t mean the two of you are a good fit.  How does he treat you in the company of other people?

5.       If you marry a man with children, you can bet that he will always be a ‘father’ first and your partner second, even though when he was pursuing you, it was the other way around.

6.       You don’t know a man until you’ve seen him angry, but be wary of a man who claims to never get angry.

7.       You don’t know a man until you’ve seen how he handles a hard truth, and how he delivers a hard truth.

8.       You don’t know a man until you’ve seen how he handles being disagreed with.

9.       Be wary of a man you’ve never seen cry.

10.   Be careful of rebound relationships.  Don’t allow yourself to be someone’s distraction from self-reflection.

11.   Before you tell your husband that his daughter has him by the balls, you should probably have been looking for your own apartment first.

12.   If you don’t know what you want in a partner, then you’ll start believing that what you’ve got is what you always wanted.

13.   Just because a man suggests doing your wills together (and is generous in his bequests) doesn’t mean he won’t want to be rid of you 4 months later.

14.   Marriage does not operate on a ‘banking’ model.  You cannot ever be certain that just because you’ve sacrificed personal happiness to make regular deposits, things will balance out.